Funny English Analogies

Judy Rose posted a list of hilarious analogies used by high school students in their essays. I wish I was this brilliant in English. I never seemed to be so creative. Some of my favorites:

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

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