Nestled in a peaceful corner of Singapore, the Nanyang Technological University sets the stage for what I think might be the funniest feedback surveys for a professor. You just must watch it and enjoy the creative and funny responses that his past students wrote to him, obviously admiring his baldness and his mustache.
Just one example out of the many:
“Is your mustache the source of your wisdom? If so, please don’t’ set such difficult questions, because most of us don’t have mustache.”
Man, wish I was there! And the professor is really cool too, winning numerous “Best Teaching” awards.
I received this through the mail, and perhaps it’s been floating around for quite some time. Apparently a magazine ran a ‘Dilbert Quotes’ contest, looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Ten of my favourite submissions:
As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. (This was the winning entry, from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corporation in Redmond, WA)
What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. (Lykes Lines Shipping)
E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business. (Accounting Mgr., Electric Boat Company)
This project is so important, we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it. (Advertising/Mktg. Mgr., UPS)
Quote from the boss: “Teamwork is a lot of people doing what ‘I’ say.” (Mktg. executive, Citrix Corporation)
We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees. (AT&T Long Lines Division)
We recently received a memo from senior management saying, “This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above.” (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)
One day my boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, “If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!” (New Business Mgr., Hallmark Cards)
This gem is the closing paragraph of a nationally-circulated memo from a large communications company: “Lucent Technologies is determined to promote constant attention on current procedures of transacting business focusing emphasis on innovative ways to better, if not supercede, the expectations of quality!”
No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them. (R&D Supervisor, Minnesota Mining & Manufacturing /3M Corp.)
We have all seen the advertising campaign for Absolute Vodka. Perhaps the there was some tipping point after wiping up the remains after yet another accident that prompted this advertisement by the Bucharest Traffic Police.
This video, “Nobody’s Watching Diet Coke & Mentos”, is a funny spoof of that video:
The gem, however, is that the two guys in the video above are not actually just any other two amateur cam-whores. They are, in fact, part of a Warner Brother’s mockumentary show (a produced show pretending to be a reality/documentary in nature).
The show centers around two friends from Ohio named Derrick (Taran Killam) and Will (Paul Campbell), who send in a home video of themselves to every network claiming that they can produce a better sitcom than the ones currently being broadcasted by the networks. In the show, The WB takes them up on this offer, and offers them both an opportunity to create their own sitcom.
So basically, WB hired people to pretend that they’re amateurs who contacted WB and got an agreement to produce a reality show. In other words, it’s a staged show pretending to be a reality-ish show in which the two participant produces a sitcom (called Nobody’s Watching). Wikipedia explains it here. Haha, if you’re confused, you’re not alone. Test audiences were simliarly confused, and that’s why Warner Brothers didn’t air it.
The clips, however, found their way into Youtube, and were met with positive responses, and so now they’re considering putting it onto TV. If you’re all confused, well, just sit tight and watch these videos (3-parts of the test Pilot Episode). They’re really good and funny!
TalkingCock in Parliament is the closing event for IndigNation2006. It was an amazingly talented bunch of funny people with their own takes on what it means to be a Singaporean. Ruby Pan and Hossan Leong’s performances, in particular, caught me.
Ruby’s masterful command (impersonation?) of various English accents in Singapore only gets better and better: watch it till the end!
Hossan Leong sang Singapore’s condensed history to the tune of “We didn’t start the fire”.