Your life-jacket can be found under your seat, but please do not remove it now. In fact, do not bother to look for it at all. In the event of a landing on water, an unprecedented miracle will have occurred, because in the history of aviation the number of wide-bodied aircraft that have made successful landings on water is zero. This aircraft is equipped with inflatable slides that detach to form life rafts, not that it makes any difference. Please remove high-heeled shoes before using the slides. We might as well add that space helmets and anti-gravity belts should also be removed, since even to mention the use of the slides as rafts is to enter the realm of science fiction.

One of the typical experiences of being on board many commercial airlines is the announcement of the safety procedures. Usually casual air-stewardess would suddenly stiffen like perky lifeless Barbie dolls, and proceed to mechanically commence with the safety directions. This article from the Economist sheds some light on what could be announced if the airline was being a little more truthful.

Full article here.

On the subject of animals, here’s a site that truly demonstrates the extent of niche and specificity. This site archives pictures of animals that are unlikely friends.

This is Caffeinated Soap.
It is purportedly “infused with caffeine anhydrous, each bar of Shower shock contains approximately 12 servings/showers per 4 ounce bar with 200 milligrams of caffeine per serving. No, we’re not kidding and no you don’t eat it. The caffeine is absorbed through the skin”.

So the modern human wakes up to a double-shot espresso (with saccharine instead of sugar – reduced calories, you know), coupled with this mind-awakening shower, takes a Prozac with breakfast to feel charged up, head up to office, more lattes and coffees to remain perky, and finally comes back home, uses aroma-therapeutic bath lotions to wind down and relax, listens to slow jazz in ambient-controlled lighting and temperature, does yoga and meditate to give the mind a peaceful serenity, before popping a sleeping pill to slumber in magnetic mattresses that improves the body energy field. Next morning, the cycle repeats.