Category Archives: Funny

Corny Job List

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It’s corny, but quite clever at the same time:

  1.  My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn’t concentrate.
  2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
  3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it – mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
  4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
  5. Then, I tried to be a Chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.
  6. I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn’t cut the mustard.
  7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.
  8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn’t have any patience.
  9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn’t fit in.
  10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.
  11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company,but the work was just too draining.
  12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center , but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
  13. After many years of trying to find steady work! I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it.
  14. My last job was working as a Pattern Maker, but I had to quit because it was
    always the same old grind.
  15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

Risk and Reward Analysis for Fruits

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Fruit

Justin, a copywriter from Brooklyn, applied the risk-and-reward analysis to the realm of fruit eating, resulting in some rather amusing muses:

fruit: banana
risk: low
reward: moderate
analysis: Never a bad choice, the banana is the .290 hitter of fruit. When was the last time you had a surprisingly bad banana? Never, that’s when. More importantly, the banana offers the most easily interpreted warning signs in the fruit family: if it’s slightly green or covered in brown spots, you know you’re rolling the dice. You will most likely never eat a memorable banana, but for a low-risk fruit that pays out solid dividends, you can’t do better. If you don’t like surprises, the banana might be the fruit for you.

Head on to his blog for 14 more fruits!

Make your own toy!

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powered-skateboard

This picture made me chuckle a little – a little time, creativity and maybe some bruises nets a skateboard powered by drills! I’m not sure how well it handles – judging by my weight, I’d probably need to have *four* industrial strength drills to even nudge me while on a skateboard. But if you’re up for the challenge, the full instructions are over at Instructables!

Apple iLaunch

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This parody of Apple’s new product launches really tickles my funny bones:

 Jobs introduces Jobs introducing the iLaunch, Apple’s new product-unveiling product.

The iLaunch, as the new product is called, was then raised up from below the stage, prompting the audience of technology journalists, developers, and self-professed “Apple fanatics” to burst into a five-minute standing ovation.

“Get ready for the future of product introduction,” said Jobs, looking resplendent in a black turtleneck and faded jeans. “The iLaunch will be able to make announcements from this, or any other stage, making human participation in generating consumer awareness almost entirely unnecessary.”

Whether you’re an Apple fan or Apple hater (are there really any neutrals?), I’m sure you’d agree that the article vividly captures the spirit of most of Apple’s product launches –  a carefully orchestrated event that borders on being cultish (or actually, probably already), calculated and inspired to achieve the greatest bang possible, and casting every star product on each show as the must-have, revolutionary one.

Broken Window

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tetris-windows

The Broken Windows Theory claims that small problems (such as broken windows in a building) should be fixed early and fast, and that this will not only help reduce incidence of minor problems, but also reduces the occurence of major problems. Well, in this case, it does seem like the broken windows are simply an outlet for creativity and expression!

Look closer again, and you’d realize that the vandal probably really loves Tetris!

[Flickr]

Manga Simpsons

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anime-simpsons

おはよう、私達は”Simpsons” である!

If Homer worked in the Tokai Power Plant instead of the one in Springfield, here’s how he might have looked. The classic Simpsons character were given an manga facelift. It seems like Marge has the biggest transformation, shedding the trademark hair (that gave her an 8’6″ statute) for more fashionable locks.

[Art by spacecoyote]

Wall Street Bull – with Golden Balls™

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Wall Street Bull with Golden Balls

This is the Wall Street Bull. Weighing a hefty 3200kg, the bronze sculpture was created by sculptor Arturo Di Modica as his testament to the vitality of American capitalism following the 1987 stock market crash. He made it at his personal cost, and had it placed (illegally) in front of the New York Stock Exchange as a form of guerrilla art. Although the police had responded by seizing the sculpture, they eventually reinstalled it some blocks away following a public outcry.

It is now a tourist destination in New York’s Financial District, symbolizing the aggressive financial optimism and prosperity as suggested by the bull’s eager stance, as if ready to charge. And now, the golden question:

Why does the Wall Street Bull sport a pair of particularly shiny, golden, erm, balls? Could it be that the artist intended the reproductive anatomy to symbolize the reserve from which the bull draws its vitality? For good fengshui?

It turns out that, it is simply due to human behavior – particularly, tourist behaviors. Touching, fondling, or otherwise rubbing the bull’s nuts have become a de-facto photo-op, much like how you’d see hordes of people stretching out their hands to “hold” Pisa Tower. With that much fondling, the balls are certainly glistening and basking in flash-accompanied glory.

 httpv://www.youtu.be/r_9eHqhsRuM